REVIEW: After (After #1) by Anna Todd

Tessa is a good girl with a sweet, reliable boyfriend back home. She's got direction, ambition, and a mother who's intent on keeping her that way. But she’s barely moved into her freshman dorm when she runs into Hardin. With his tousled brown hair, cocky British accent, tattoos, and lip ring, Hardin is cute and different from what she’s used to. 

But he's also rude - to the point of cruelty, even. For all his attitude, Tessashould hate Hardin and she does — until she finds herself alone with him in his room. Something about his dark mood grabs her, and when they kiss it ignites within her a passion she’s never known before. 

He’ll call her beautiful, then insist he isn’t the one for her and disappear again and again. Despite the reckless way he treats her, Tessa is compelled to dig deeper and find the real Hardin beneath all his lies. He pushes her away again and again, yet every time she pushes back, he only pulls her in deeper. 

Tessa already has the perfect boyfriend. So why is she trying so hard to overcome her own hurt pride and Hardin’s prejudice about nice girls like her? 

Unless… could this be love?

My Thoughts:

All that I'm certain of is that my life and my heart will never be the same, not after Hardin crashed into them. 

The cover of After proclaims that its had one billion reads online. Wow, I thought!! That's a whole lot of interest. I've personally gone a little bit cold on New Adult lately. The stories all tend to be the same and there are very few authors who I find can consistently produce something new. But when this came up for review I couldn't resist. Now, I've never really listened to One Direction before, so the fact that this was originally written as a 1D fanfiction wasn't what enticed me. I just purely liked the sound of it. And something that had so many reads had to have something going for it, right?

I have to admit to being hooked pretty quickly. Despite a few issues that I had with the grammar, I was loving the story. I was breezing through it. Smiling and swooning and happy as happy can be. I was slowly falling for Hardin, and I really liked Tessa. The whole dynamic drew me in and I couldn't put this book down. But then slowly things started to worry me. I began to have some real issues with the way that the characters, especially Hardin, treated each other.

Now I'm all for tattooed, pierced bad boys. I love them. I adore them. I could eat them for breakfast. And Hardin was tattooed and he was bad. But there's a difference between bad and cruel. And Hardin went from bad to sometimes being downright horrid. We eventually find out that he has had a really crappy childhood, and I found that my heart just about broke for him. What he went through as a child would affect anyone greatly. But it also doesn't excuse his behaviour and treatment of Tessa. He went from hot to cold, up to down, fighting and loving, happy and sad, and all in the blink of an eye and for the most insignificant of reasons. When it comes to his friends, he treats her like his dirty little secret. He doesn't want to commit, but then gets all he man and jealous when she so much as blinks in front of another male. But still I loved him. He had my head in a spin but there was just something about him. But then there is one big fat betrayal that we learn about at the end of the book. It was a doozy!! I really have no idea how the author is going to get me back onside after that one. My love for him was so big, but now I'm not sure I even like him very much.

Every second I spend with Hardin increases my feelings for him, and I know it's dangerous for me to allow these small, seemingly meaningless moments to occur, but I don't have control of myself when Hardin is involved. I become merely a passerby in this storm.

And then there is Tessa. Sweet and inexperienced, she is the complete opposite to Hardin. She's lived a fairly sheltered life, and she's also experienced her own share of childhood heartbreak. She frustrated me on so many occasions. I think that sometimes she forgave Hardin so quickly for the way that he treated her. To a point I could understand it, because she's lived a big chunk of her life trying to please her Mum and avoid confrontation. Then there were the times when Hardin asked her, at times even begged her to listen to him about different situations and she would completely disregard him and end up getting herself in some avoidable predicaments. 

"I just want to be the only person you ever love; that way you are mine."

There was just so much drama between these two and at times it felt like that was all that their time together consisted of. But when they were good, they were so good. Hardin could be so caring and loving. He was sweet and protective. Their chemistry was undeniable.

Even though I mentioned all of these issues that I had, I will definitely pick up the next book. I was addicted from start to finish. I really want to see where the author is going with things. I want to see where she takes Tessa and Hardin. I want Hardin to man up and learn that woman should be treated with respect, and I want Tessa to mature a little bit. Love is about respect and care and concern, and I'm not fully convinced that Tessa and Hardin are there yet.

For me, the first two thirds of After would be a solid four and a half, possibly five star read. But then the last third would be a three star read. And that is solely because of Hardin. But, there is no denying that I read to feel, and After made me feel so many things, and that can only be a good thing.

My feelings for Hardin are so confusing. I hate him one minute and want to kiss him the next... He makes me laugh and cry, yell and scream, but most of all he makes me feel alive.

Thank you so much to Simon and Schuster Australia for the review copy.